:(

So, the other day I was reading about the different saints, and all the things they did for God and how smart they were. They were like geniuses compared to the people of today! It made me feel so...inadequate. I just felt completely lame compared to them, both spiritually and in other ways.

Thinking about it got me really depressed. But it was a different kind of depression; the only word I can think of to describe it would be empty. I felt completely empty, like there was a pit of depression within me. It was awful :( It's been happening a lot lately.

Another issue I've been dealing with has been getting closer to God the Father. God the Son (Jesus) and God the Holy Spirit, I can see myself getting close to. But God the Father? That seems so difficult to me. It's like, I can't see us connecting. I think it has something to do with my own relationship with my dad here on Earth. We don't exactly see eye to eye, and it's hard for me to trust him. So, maybe I'm conveying my feelings towards him to God the Father? I don't know. I just wish I didn't feel this way. :(