marikunin: (Meditate.)
[personal profile] marikunin
A cab driver harassed me sexually. Let me explain what happened. I needed to buy a new phone because my old one had somehow died. The cab took over an hour to get to the local library (I'd been misheard over the phone and they'd gone to the wrong town) and I momentarily blacked out visually due to stress when they drove right by me. It was a weird feeling, but it's happened before. Anyway, so it was this guy Omar.

At first, he was nice, explaining what happened. Then he saw the self harm marks on my legs and kept wincing when he saw them. (I told him it was due to a cat.)

Then he taught me a word or two in Spanish and I taught him a word or two in English. After I brought my phone was when things got...uncomfortable. Earlier in the conversation, I had told him my age (he had wondered because I looked so young). He'd noticed my arm muscles due to working out and then saw my leg muscles due to all my walking.

He put a hand on my leg. I thought he wanted to feel my muscle or something. But then he wouldn't remove it. I was confused-I wanted to believe the best of him-but hoped...well, I hoped. Then he took my hand and put it on his leg. (He was wearing jeans) Then he slid it to...well, I didn't feel anything there but jeans but he winked at me. Then he tried to feel my breast. I was like "No!" in a clear, firm voice and he backed off. But because his phone is connected to the cab company, he tried calling me a few times after I left, though he stopped after fifteen minutes.

...I haven't been able to get the incident out of my mind.

The night that it happened, I was very quiet and Dean said via text that I was probably disturbed. Here's the thing. This is really the first time I've been harassed/propositioned in any way. This is uncommon in American society as females and female-looking people get harassed all the time. But I've been spared the brunt of it mostly due to my young looks and how I dress. I'm usually mistaken for a teen if not younger. So there's that.

I took off work the next day because I was so upset over it. I felt-and still feel-somewhat dirty. I felt horrible because now Jordan wouldn't be the first to (try to) touch me in an intimate way. Kate said that what the cab guy did is completely different than what consenting adults do in a committed relationship, and I know that. But...still.

I haven't told anyone in real life about this yet. I haven't even reported the guy, but only due to the fear that upon calling the company, it may go to his phone.

I mean, I told him I had a boyfriend but still, he...sigh I took off work again today too, because I still don't quite feel like myself. I'm gonna go tomorrow though...

...if any of you wanna report him for me, feel free. The # to call is 8455658989 and the offender in question is named Omar.

Date: 2012-08-02 01:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
What he did was very very wrong and he needs to be reported. But that report needs to come from you. You're the one it happened to, sweets. They wouldn't take some random person's report if they weren't there to witness it. I just need to stress he needs to be reported. You may not be the first person he's tried this with and I'm sure you won't be the last unless something is done.

Date: 2012-08-02 03:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
D: That's really terrible. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
But yeah you need to report that guy asap. If you call and it goes to his line, just hang up and call again to try and get someone else.

Date: 2012-08-02 04:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I didn't know you'd blacked out due to stress before this incident even happened! :( It's happened before? Have you told anyone that that happens sometimes?

I don't blame you for taking off work for that, that is seriously messed up and disgusting and just *HUGE HUG* Yeah, you deserved a rest after that incident.

Guys like that, even if you tell them outright that you have a boyfriend or to stop, they don't get the signal. I don't know why, they just need to be stayed away from.

All I know is, when you flat out said no? THAT was brave. Seriously, well done for you!! I have been preyed upon (when I was a teen), and it was seriously scary, and I think you handled that so well given the circumstances. I'm proud of you.

I stand by what I said. What happened has no bearing on YOU, as a beautiful human being, and it does not count, AT ALL, as intimacy, nor does it somehow soil you for any future intimacy you may have.

I'm just sorry this happened at all. The more I read about it, the more it disgusts me, and I hope that you will be okay. I will be praying for you, please stay strong my friend. And please remember, this was not in any way your fault. You did nothing wrong. This was just a creeper, and I pray God works with him, because NO ONE should have to endure that disrespect.

Date: 2012-08-02 03:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I second everyone else: you've got to report him yourself, or they aren't going to take it seriously, especially if the call is coming from out of state. I'm really sorry that this happened to you, I can't imagine how it feels :-/

Date: 2012-08-02 11:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
NO ONE should be subjected to that. He should especially not have preyed on someone young. I understand being understanding ("-I wanted to believe the best of him-but hoped...well, I hoped"), but most if not all guys are going to take the hesitation as permission. He should never have laid a hand on you, as a professional cab driver. I will bet just about anything that is against the rules.

I'm sorry this happened. Pray for the courage to call the company and report him. I understand being afraid, but I think he must be just inexperienced and stupid. He is in the wrong.

Date: 2012-08-06 09:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I am so sorry this happened to you Mary, it's awful :(

Have you told anyone, family or friends where you live? They can report on your behalf, and failing that you could go to the cops and report it so they can do all the investigating / reporting. Take a support person along with you.

Date: 2012-08-07 06:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I called the cab company and reported it to the manager...*shrug*

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